The Extra Push
It was one of those days, where I would find myself sitting on his lap as we exchange stories. Or at least, that is how it felt.
I have written about my Lolo Totoy a lot of times. Reason being is that there is always something joyous and therapeutic when I reminisce about our moments together (even though I end up crying). But today, it was different…
It was as if my grandfather managed to tap me on my shoulder, hugged me, and whispered, I know you needed me.
Things have been though recently, nothing aggressively serious or something that I cannot handle but I am in a place where I would like to keep on achieving my goals. Of course, roadblocks would present itself as I try, which is, of course normal. But there are days where moments happen at the wrong time. Today, it is my gout.
Since I am at home (thankfully), I was able to report it to my mom right away. She immediately told me what I had to take, what I could drink and what I could not eat for the day allowing it to subside. And then, I saw this green folder that I used to own that contained some envelopes. There were old pictures of myself, my cousins and my friends in the Philippines, and then I saw this sheet of paper, I knew what it was without even opening it… it was my grandfather’s letter to me before he passed away. I needed to lock myself inside the room, turn off the television and start reading the letter.
As I unfold the letter, my grandfather’s photograph landed on my lap (dramatic, right? He was a fan of it). After reading the first line of the letter, it was no surprise, I started crying. There they were, in black and white, his simple, honest, direct advices that are so empowering, “Once you have decided, work work and work until it hurts. Remember life is not limited to your surroundings…” “Be friendly to everybody…” “Life is full of problems, do not be depressed, ask why and then pray.” These are words that I would hear from him and had always made me ponder and reset.
I have not read this letter for a long time, four years to be exact. What amazes me is that this letter manifests, when I NEED it the most. It is the extra push that I need to allow things around me to make more sense and plan my attack to conquer challenges that face me.
Things made sense, I was inspired and I felt strong. Twenty-Six years later, we may be distant from each other, but today, I once again, got a chance to sit on his lap.